short note: gah, i never update!
sorry about that, but all for a good reason. seriously.
I've been through 2 months of totally unnecessary time. 2 months of mental and physical training that i could have done with if i have the discipline to do so before. 2 months which wished i could get it over with quickly. 2 months that i hate and 2 months that miss the most.
How funny life is when one moment you can hate, despise and abhor something and the next you'll come to love it, miss it and wish you could get back to it. Its like we or rather I, never learn how to appreciate or enjoy things.
Maybe its in our nature to live in the yesterday and to go for tomorrow but never to be right here and now. To be in the present and stay uprooted and go through day by day not wishing for tomorrow not wanting for yesterday but slowly and enjoying here and now. But that sounds very impossible.
Right now all i want is to be back in my primary school years and decide to leap a year. To be back in my secondary school and open up my eyes and heart and experience what i missed. To be back to that moment and choose to go on and pursue higher studies. To finish off this 2 years. To be done with this 6 months. but not one moment to enjoy this moment.
is it just me?
or is this a norm?
i have no answer to that. But even if i put all my energy to it, I will look forward for tomorrow. Not because today is horrible, or yesterday was bliss, but because tomorrow is my mom birthday! oh shit, that's today!
