Fly Away

Of sentry (:

2011-10-23T23:42:00.002+08:00

short note: focus focus focus!

woke up this morning and for some reason sat myself down on the Chair peering out to the familiar red gate. I wonder when was the last time i really sat there alone. what used to be a place of solace has now become nothing but memories. time flies and in just few more months im gone hehs..

note to self:

get my self to BB tomorrow!

commitment

2011-10-19T00:24:00.002+08:00

short note: feels so hard to commit to anything. why?

i am going to revive this blog. this time really.
been having a tough time committing to anything lately. for 2 months long all i'd done was making empty promises to myself and hope that things are going to sort out by it self. Enough i say. Nothing is going to happen unless i do it on my own. but its so hard.. ):

i am not really sure what is it but after that 'supposed' holiday i'm really down on something. i tried by best to avoid falling into depression again but after a few weeks i gave in. its too much really. life is too much and im too stupid. that being said, i have to buck up seriously. i have 4 more months to complete what i set out to do. and i have to start now.

hope its not too late..

2011-04-17T04:22:00.001+08:00

short note: this is my brain. shoot it.

while it may seems that change is inevitable, the fact that the world is more constant than volatile is less than obvious. how could it be when everyday seems like a chaos; when a bomb exploded there, a man killed here and waves just plunge a great country to her knee? but strip bare of everything, its all the same old story with better coverage.

'in all the chaos routine is a salvation'

its just wrong :(

2011-03-26T09:59:00.002+08:00

short note: so thats how it is now.

there is something seriously wrong about trying to be something you're not. you should know that by doing so you'll end up neither here nor there in this world. imitation only goes as far. sure it is cute the first few moments but afterward you're going to be a pain in ass. no kidding.

but imitation is not what im talking about exactly. its more about trying so hard to be something, to fit in a place where you dont. the act of making a fool of yourself in the long run :) because in this world you either fit in or you stand out. you have to understand that there are people trying their best to stand out from the rest. and there you are trying to fit in. bah. never satisfied. when you are born that way, FLAUNT IT.

i believe there is a path created for everyone in this world. some were paved some just a garden path cutting through randomly in the grass but a path nonetheless leading to your 'ultimate self' (sounds so chim rite?). sometimes you know that path and all you have to do is just go along with it and BAM you are somebody. but others is so long winded it takes forever to reach that.

and then theres you. who knows that path but purposely deviates from it believing being like 'others' is better. and i just dont understand why.

ciaox

2010-12-05T13:48:00.002+08:00

short note: i have a bad habit of breaking promises i made to myself.

blogging is so out of the window now :D
but that does not mean that this blog gonna die. oh no. nah uh.

that aside, i noticed that i am doing alot of things that i swear i will never do. over-spend, over-eat and overly-lazy (haha). that is like the recipe to being fat in no time. seriously, there was once a time when i only consume one fast food meal per year, now i'm craving them ever other day or so. worse, i even consider them as my meal now!

over-consumtion is something that goes hand in hand with city life. back then i had everything fed into me and i can exercise more control over what i eat. now, freedom really is what it implies. im free to eat what i want and control is the last thing on my mind.

i wish i have the patience to do grocery shopping and cook my own food (not that i don't know how to do that). but thinking about it made me twice as hungry! and those food just cant come fast enough.

what to do?
just call those delivery numbers lah

random thoughts: differences

2010-10-09T13:57:00.002+08:00

short note: 2 more weeks.

Something that bothers me lately is how some people always have a certain expectation that everyone has the same mind set and ability as themselves. These so called 'perfect people' imagine a world that orbits by a set of rules set by a standard that is to others unrealistic and uneducated, a world with the standard of Hollywood movies and/or reality television.

For example those with higher education will (sometimes if not always) look down on those that fail to pursue higher education. They scorn what these people do and laugh at their ridiculous-ness and failure to conform to social norm. I am not excluded from such thoughts but i am often reminded that not many of us are fortunate enough to go far, or fortunate enough to have the necessary materials to stand to the same standard that the world expects them to be in. They are not a misfit fit to be ridiculed.

Observing and listening has led me to the conclusion that we human are not equal to one another; contrary to what we were led to believe. We do not have the same ability nor the same intelligence level from the moment of birth. There are just too many variables that can change the development of our mind from even before we were born. To expect all of us to act the same way is nothing but a wishful thought.

Our differences is what made us special. A world filled with strength and weaknesses that counterbalance one another is what bond us together as one. I learn some very interesting things from people that I do not understand. People that do not conform to social norm, those that rebel and the eccentric ones, people who are pushed down by society. These people have interesting insight on how the world revolve. Not some wishful utopia that most of us wish to live in but the cruel reality that we won't except. And what puzzle me the most is they are usually more contented with the world than most.

It is like waiting for the world to change, when it is up to oneself to change the world.

empowerment

2010-08-14T05:59:00.008+08:00

short note: senior bar w00t!

Empowerment is something that escapes me few years ago. Its difficult for me to grapple with the fact that we want to do something challenging, something that puts us in dangerous situation; dare-deviling in the extream. Until recently.

I realised that empowerment is something very crucial in the development of an individual. Static routine that most of us are accustomed to in work and studies does sounds appealing, where you don't have to meet the unknown and only work with things that you are very familiar with, but routine does one thing to the mind; it dulls them.

I think the primary reason why most people hated their work is the lack of empowerment. I experienced it before, doing the same thing over and over again even with variation in the schedule does irritate me. I asked that maybe its the lack of challenge in the work that I do, but that is certainly out of the question. Then I ask whether it is the people that I'm working with, tempting as that sound, it doesn't really pin point the problem.

Then a few weeks ago I read an article about "putting the fun back in your work life" so to speak, and there came my answer. Boredom is unnecessarily about lack of challenge or bad colleague, it has something to do with lack of responsibility and accountability in your line of work. Take for example, putting your job on the line 24/7 does make you work more vigilantly compared to taking safe 'routes'.

So with empowerment you put yourself and your job more and more on the line. One slip and there it goes. Challenge wise maybe not so, but the implication of a mistake, of a slip is what make it more worth it. Being a leader, taking a responsibility, doing illicit dealings thats what makes a life more so to speak exciting.

darnation.

2010-07-11T00:21:00.002+08:00

short note: wasted, bummed and annoyed

its not normal that you dream losing 3 things that you love in one night. and it certainly bumming waking up with an answer that puzzled the heck out of you. and tell me that it doesn't make you mad when someone tell you to do something when you really dont feel like it! Argh damn it...

Sometimes somethings should be left alone. Sometimes human intervention just sucks. Sometimes... well sometimes...

so anyway, im in the mood of screaming at anyone who annoys me for the whole week D:
on the bright side its HTA week.

on the not so bright side im labelled.

Home

2010-06-27T01:24:00.003+08:00

short note: 3 things i hate about life. 1st its random. 2nd its waaaay too random. 3rd its f--king RANDOM! wait that's only one thing.

This will probably be the last time I'll be in JB till around September or so. (even then its not confirmed). Why? I don't have the reason to be back here anymore. I remember that the only reason I came back was to use the internet (sad fact) but now internet feel kinda empty to me. I just cant find a way to use it anymore. Then there were those personal matters that I need to settle. And I just settled the last one last Friday. So what else is there for me?

Give me a reason to be back home again. Because if home is where your heart is, I lost mine.

this and that

2010-06-19T07:20:00.002+08:00

short note: still i have two. what i need now is one constant.

just reached home from a 9 days training in Sabah under Outward Bound Sabah.
Had fun and discovered a lot of things about myself. Will post the journals here soon :D

now going for 5 click run to tiara club to play badminton. Im still waaay too weak to go on :( i cant believe out of 43 people only 12 left standing afterward. now im scared but I want to be the one standing. Always.

Jaa ne.
Wish me luck :)

2010-06-05T18:11:00.002+08:00

It fucking hurts.
Wonder if I would still be alive when I gorge it out.
No, I hope not.

random thoughts

2010-05-29T10:41:00.002+08:00

short note: i think i am oversensitive to people thoughts and feelings. i should reaaally lower my expectations for everything.

come on!
of all thing i got my head/brain in dead mode. im feeling like crap now because of this constant headache since last week. THAT. NEVER. GOES. AWAY. not only that it feels like I'm walking on Titanic all day and now I'm getting 'sea' sick. Gah! WHY?

im signing off too puke.

today is the...

2010-05-22T03:36:00.004+08:00

short note: gah, i never update!

sorry about that, but all for a good reason. seriously.

I've been through 2 months of totally unnecessary time. 2 months of mental and physical training that i could have done with if i have the discipline to do so before. 2 months which wished i could get it over with quickly. 2 months that i hate and 2 months that miss the most.

How funny life is when one moment you can hate, despise and abhor something and the next you'll come to love it, miss it and wish you could get back to it. Its like we or rather I, never learn how to appreciate or enjoy things.

Maybe its in our nature to live in the yesterday and to go for tomorrow but never to be right here and now. To be in the present and stay uprooted and go through day by day not wishing for tomorrow not wanting for yesterday but slowly and enjoying here and now. But that sounds very impossible.

Right now all i want is to be back in my primary school years and decide to leap a year. To be back in my secondary school and open up my eyes and heart and experience what i missed. To be back to that moment and choose to go on and pursue higher studies. To finish off this 2 years. To be done with this 6 months. but not one moment to enjoy this moment.

is it just me?
or is this a norm?

i have no answer to that. But even if i put all my energy to it, I will look forward for tomorrow. Not because today is horrible, or yesterday was bliss, but because tomorrow is my mom birthday! oh shit, that's today!

elephant.

2010-01-26T13:24:00.002+08:00

short note: foundation.

found this song by this morning.
very simple song with very deep meaning.

rachael yamagata - elephant
elephant... teeth sinking into heart (2008)

If the elephants have past lives,
Yet are destined to always remember,
It's no wonder how they scream,
Like you and I, they must have some temper.

And I am dreaming of them on the plains,
Dirtying up their beds,
Watching for some kind of rain
To cool their hot heads.

And how dare that you send me that card
When I'm doing all that I can do.
You are forcing me to remember
When all I want is to just forget you.

If the tiger shall protect her young,
Then tell me how did you slip by.
All my instincts have failed me for once
I must have somehow slept the whole night.

And I am dreaming of them with their kill,
Tearing it all apart,
Blood dripping from their lips,
And teeth sinking in to heart.

And how dare that you say you will call,
When you know I need some peace of mind..
If you had to take sides with the animals,
Won't you do it with one who is kind?

If the hawks in the trees need the dead,
If you're living you don't stand a chance.
For a time, though you share the same bed,
There are only two ends to this dance.

You can flee with your wounds just in time,
Or lie there as he feeds,
Watching yourself ripped to shreds
And laughing as you bleed.

So for those of you falling in love,
Keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right.
Throw yourself in the midst of danger,
But keep one eye open at night.

lyrics from
azlyrics.com

Sarah and Gifts

2010-01-20T00:00:00.002+08:00

short note: i guess we are just going with the flow. without a clue in our head. silly.

I finally managed to restore Sarah back to her original state save for a few 'unexplainable' scratches and dents on her back. Alright i might have dropped/knocked her once or twice by accident but, honestly, i don't know how she got those horrible scratches. I love her but accidents do happen, eh?

I did all the restoration process my self and i am very proud of the result :) in fact except for loud sounding G-string, which i cant explain why, i think she sounds better now. she smells wonderful and feels so smooth and silky. Cool to the touch yet warm in the tone. pardon me.

---

i just realised that i do not have any emotional attachment to any gift that i received. I don't think i ever put a thought into them although its different when im giving things. I do try though. I tried to love the things that i got but i just can't. Its like loving someone you don't like. It's tiring and full of lies.

Maybe its the same with everyone else. maybe when someone received something from others they will be happy with it for awhile (just to be polite, perhaps) then the feeling will subside and it will just end up on their shelve to collect dust. Maybe im just looking too hard at something so stupid. Its just that i don't want to think of the other possibility. That i am incapable of love. LOL. that sure is depressing.

i thought of writing more but it will be unrelated and too long. some other time then. if i can still remember :)

buix.

meet ryn-chan :)

2010-01-14T23:22:00.005+08:00

short note: urgh nooo. dan.. dr.. rawrf

i went to guitar heaven and back
with a baby!

went to excelsior shopping centre on tues. It's an old place but you can't believe how many music stores packed into it. I think i passed at least 13 of them. or more. must be more. I lost count when i saw the number of guitars on display. and its not small stores, mind you.

Its a rarity to find more than one music store in a shopping center. Let alone 13+ of them. And some of these are really hugee stores with racks upon racks of stuffs. Heavenly. And the price is really reasonable too. I got my guitar (yamaha f-310, yeah i rant about it before) for $208 (approx. rm495) + set up, lower than the prices that i checked here. plus, think i saw D'addario strings for only 7/9 bucks(RM14/18) compared to 24+ here. sales competition is good eh?

(do tell me you can find cheaper price for it)

i don't know what got over me. I didn't think much when it got it and just went for it xD lately i did everything on a whim. less brain work. which is good; or bad haha.
--

i see that, i haven't written a long blog post for awhile. might try to do that soon.
btw, YUI's muffler out on YOUTUBE.
for some reason i don't really like it.
its more like YUI's personal story in a song. It lacks of hooks and sadly, forgettable. but still, i wish there's live performance. though 99.9999999% i wont be able to attend it xD

GLORIA/ALWAYS

2010-01-01T19:19:00.002+08:00

short note: Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year World ;D
09 was a difficult year. Terrible things happened even from the beginning of the year.
So, lets hope for a better year ahead. A new decade, a new beginning. Of sort.

---

Lets start the year with:

GLORIA!!!
while its still available.
It seems SONY is busy protecting YUI image online. Even as far as censoring her unofficial pictures. Such pain.

AND AND

MIKA NAKASHIMA - ALWAYS!
shes back to the ORION/FOCUS genre!
I think she has a very nice sad/dark voice that pierce through your heart when you listen to her ballads. She should stick to ballad ;D

GLORIA and other insignificant things

2009-12-26T20:34:00.003+08:00

short note: i did it all. must i jeopardize everything?

YUI new song out d :D
Another great song from her. It has a very catching hook and will stick in your head for sure and and easy to learn chords (a plus for me hehe) although I can't sing along at all.

GLORIA has a very meaningful lyrics. It revolves around teen's struggles and I can really relate to what she's trying to convey.

Listen to it.
Look it up online cause I don't want to post it here LOL
I can send it though if you ask nicely hahaha

---

I know whats wrong with me now. I just can't bring myself to forgive anyone anymore. I am holding grudges to anyone who even subtly caused anything to happen to me, how insignificant that 'anything' may be. I am mad at everyone yet the only person I can get mad at is myself. It's your fault.

Childish, I know, but I just can't do it. I just can't close my eyes and forgive anymore; and this placed a very heavy weight in my mind. It's your fault.

Oh fuck it, I hate whining. But I have to get this statement out of my head. So yeah, forget that, I know its all my fault.

----

There. My first rant in almost half a year.

ciao

Funky Monkey Babys

2009-12-18T14:54:00.003+08:00

short note: learn to read subtle messages.

I found out about this group last month; and i am addicted to them.
watch the PV

most of their PVs are very meaningful (most as i haven't watch all of them yet) which is contrary to recent trend of incorporating dances and weird unnecessary elements in music videos. It is refreshing indeed; a bonus for their great and meaningful songs.

while watching the PV, look out for the funny DJ :)

ciao

of cuteness

2009-12-11T19:18:00.004+08:00

short note: not everyone has ulterior motive. i mean, seriously, don't be so paranoid!

I have to admit that i have soft spot for kyoko. You can tell by the blog banner. It's her! In a chicken suit. I'll tell you the story some other time. haha. I am not into shoujo manga though. Its just that SKIPBEAT! is too funny to me to stop reading it. And really cute too!

tell me I'm right!
LOL I'm cheating on YUI!

anyways,

I saw this cute commercial the other day.

and it made my day :)

au revoir

update :D

2009-12-07T23:05:00.002+08:00

short note: i can watch ellen again now! :D

I know I have abandoned this blog, yet again.
Believe me I do want to post something and I have several drafts lining up, but alas none of it will be posted since none of it is finished, or will be finish for that matter!

Ergo, let’s do the simplest posting method.

First and foremost, I would like to thank Kw and Wk for the wonderful guitar. Sadly I can’t take any picture since my phone still refuses to materialise before me. I still can’t find a place to display it though. Part of me don’t even want to prop it up for fear someone will trip and break it, which will certainly leads to someone will broken body parts, but I assure you I will AFTER I get an impact, fire, bullet, water, wind and radiation proof glass case. Promise!

Also, thanks for the YUI album. LOVE IT TO BITS! Thanks gals ;D. I found some interesting things about that album will post it soon.

Hmm, let’s see..

I had fun watching Kw danced/moved his skinny gay ass in Republic Poly and chanting along with the Capoiera team from all over the globe. I have to admit he was pretty awesome if I minus the fact that I know nothing about Capoiera and how awesome can it be. So yeah he was awesome. LOL.

I had a rare chance to witness the Leonid Meteor Shower, which was honestly pretty bleak. It was showering alright, with rain. But I persevered and witness some 4 beautiful specks. I wished to post more about this but I can’t seem to put it in words. I admit I fantasized for a more spectacular shower but small beauty make you appreciate it even more. IF you notice it and know what IS beauty.

Went to AFA with SQ, YG and his cousins 3 weeks ago (?). I failed convince YG to follow me inside and he stubbornly insisted he rather spend time alone outside that with us, which is really a twisted logic. But I learnt not to challenge it, not worth it (I should tell someone to be prepared for this haha). We had a great time inside though. Gasping at sexy cosplayers and beautiful models, watched spectacular Regional Cosplayer Finals performances, which include a barely clothed pair with lights that lights up when they are mad or so it seems and an intricately made Gundam Exia(?) suit, and and awful backache induced by dragging a lion along. You should check out SQ’s facebook album for the photos. I have yet to see them yet! DAMMIT!

Hmm..

I think that’s all I can remember for now :D
I promise I'll post more :)

Ciao.

p/s i realized my written language and tone changed again. It sounds weird don't you think?

boku wa kimi ni koi wo suru

2009-10-31T13:32:00.002+08:00

its been awhile since ken hirai release a nice ballad xD
heres the full song. with rough translation haha

YOUNHA - MY SONG AND...

2009-10-29T22:52:00.002+08:00

ooh i found this song few days back

nice rite nice rite?

now listen to the korean ver.

lol i cant decide which is nicer

Stupid Poem

2009-10-28T00:10:00.004+08:00

In moment of darkness
I always see those tiny sparks of light.
Minuscule,
almost imaginary,
dancing, beckoning me.

Risky as it may be
a fata morgana
mirage, built on a sense of hope;
saving me
or dooming me,
I had yet to know.
But still I followed them.

They became my beacon
my savior,
a ranger to guide me out
of this jungle of shadows
to a safe haven beyond.

Hurt as I may be
from that gloomy journey,
full of bumps and yelps;
but I am still alive now
breathing and well.

Now whenever I feel lost,
when I feel all hope abandoned me
and I am engulfed
by the darkness
of my heart;
I close my eyes
and relish the thought
that somewhere
there is that spark of light
in my heart,
in my mind;
always shining
true and strong
forever.

my pathetic attempt at poem
PHAIL miserably
oh well xD
till then~

2009-10-06T16:21:00.006+08:00

18

i am loving
big
fat
red
FONT~

YUI's Life Story

2009-09-15T18:24:00.002+08:00

short note: gah i hate being depressed D:

yuislifestory

Firecrackers in your Pants XD

2009-09-14T21:30:00.005+08:00

short note: i am not ready to forgive yet huh? your fault. i've changed.

im seriously in need of meat.
I cant imagine celebrating Eid without meat.
EVER!
wait now that i think about it.
I CANT EAT ANY FOOD THAT DAY!!
who will cook fish anyways =.=

I miss having free reign on my plate. I miss the ability to fill mountain of meat chunks on my plate with lots of gravy on it.

speaking of missing things.
I miss the feel of Ramadan in its 'glory' days here.

When i say glory day i meant the rocket firecrackers exploding in succession, loud bamboo cannon firing contest (of sort), huge out of nowhere fireworks and the occasional popping of small firecrackers or loud chinese dragon firecrackers.

The pelita at the ending of it. the whole house revamp with the lampu lap-lip (the blinking colourful lights usually hanged near the main door) and new house paints. Or at least the sound of laughing and running children playing with sparklers.

I miss having very eventful and loud nights. where everyone seems to enjoy themselves.

to me those sounds are the one that define the month. the sounds that make the whole night alive. like a battlefield (insert jordin spark voice here).

I used to rate the 'happening' level of Eid by how loud the nights go by. The louder it is the better the celebration will be. Usually this will be decided on the last night when everyone goes all out with their supply. But now, its so quiet, even cricket wont make a sound.

Everything stops now.
No more cannon firing.
Less rocket firecrackers
no more fireworks (even on independence day!)
less firecrackers burst
less house with pelita
less house with revamped house.
no more children playing after hour

something is missing in the celebration.
I know you will say that real Eid celebration never meant to be celebrated that way.
but why take the fun away from us?

yeah, its obvious that more stupid people lose their limbs and eyes around this time. note that i say STUPID. because the way the play it is so STUPID it makes our eyes bleed. THE BLOODY REASON WHY THERES A FIRECRACKER BAN NOW.

all this makes the celebration more dull somewhat. no noise. no boom. no pop. no laughter.
maybe its just me who feel so.
someone who likes everything to stay the way they are.

anyways,
NEVER SAY DIE!

till then,
ciao~
adieu~n

p/s: yeah yeah i know you gonna say Ramadan not suppose to be celebrated like that.

2009-09-11T19:55:00.011+08:00

MY

PHONE

PULLED

A

DISAPPEARING

ACT ON

ME!!!

AM NOT HAPPY
D:

UP

2009-09-02T00:12:00.004+08:00

short note: thats the weirdest man i've ever seen.

whats UP?

"The word UP has more meaning that any other two-lettered word. If you are not confused after reading this, you must be really messed UP.

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic comes UP?

Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for elections, any why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends, we use paint to brighten UP a room, we polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers, and clean UP the kitchen, We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning, but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty messed UP about UP.

To be knowledgeable about the proper use of UP, look UP the word in the dictionary. In a desk-size dictionary, UP takes UP almost a quarter of the page and definition add UP to about thirty.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but, if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more!"

excerpt from
THE AMAZING BOOK OF USELESS INFORMATION

Ok so lets just watch UP.
and bottoms UP and toast to my completion of writing this UP xD

ITS ALL too MUCH!!

2009-08-31T22:17:00.003+08:00

short note: ooh i bake pretty delicious cream puffs. but i cant eat them :(

FINALLY!!
YUI NEW SONG JUST RELEASED ON SCHOOL OF LOCK!
YAY!

AND AND AND

HER NEW HAIRCUT XDD
she going for rock look? hmm.. i see mika nakashima xD
YUI HAWT-ing!

avatar version ;)

ITS ALL TOO MUCH - YUI (all rights go to her ;) )

CHEERS!!
adieu~n

SADNESS

2009-08-28T23:50:00.002+08:00

short note: my throat feels weird...

Doctor: So you should cut back on eggs and meat, OK?

Me: err okay.. im fine with eggs, pimples and all haha.

Doctor: *smiles

Me: But meat? All red meat? Can i eat lamb?

Doctor: Thats called meat too right? So no.

Me: Chicken?

Doctor: Try to cut back on that too.

Me: ookaaay.. *so im left with fish and nuts?*

OK!
SO FOLKS!

IM OFFICIALLY VEGETARIAN NOW!
T.T

Hooked

2009-08-26T20:54:00.004+08:00

short note: i got phlegm in my lungs?! what again?

Sometimes in life, you will encounter one of those moments where you'll get hooked up on something that you swear you hate to the core. "I never thought I would love it," you'll said or "OMG WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN." Either way, they convey the same meaning.

For me it will be, YUI (yeah I did say I don't like her style before, surprise?), guitar (I still wish I could play piano or violin, oh well) or reading Korean celeb gossip.

Yes, that.

I swore that I will never get hooked up on anything korean. Thank God I am not (living in denial xD). What with cute crying boys and under the knife smexy hot babes anyways? And hangul? Seriously, the first time I read romanised hangul i laughed so hard my eyes waters. Im evil huh? Laughed at other people language. xD

But anyways, I come to term to many Korean things lately, DBSK, Yiruma, SNSD (YEAH HOT GIRLS RULES XDD), Younha and Clazziquai Project to name some. Well the list not that extensive trust me xD and where else can i get my daily dose of Korean stuff other than natalie's blog.

but now

how am i suppose to get my daily dose of that now? (and stalk her lol.)
there goes my chance of using those knowledge to *erhm.

ah..
I hope it will be up again soon :) the rise and fall of her blog is epic xD

all the best in your study natch! :D
and wish your blog is up again haha

adieu~n

p.h.e.a.r

2009-08-24T22:17:00.003+08:00

i only realise this lately.

I have something call 'haircutonophobia'. I am terrified of hairdresser, barber etc. that does the same line of job of cutting someone hair. Seriously.

My body will freeze over and turn rigid at the sight of hair salon or barber parlor. and it usually takes 2 - 3 times visit (or more like walk around) to that 'wretched place' before i dare to step inside and face the total horror. Of losing my hair.

Well thats not really the reason.

I guess not many people will feel this. The feeling of someone breathing over their neck, brandishing scissors and blades with occasional razor buzzing millimeters away from their ears. The feeling of putting absolute trust in someone else, hoping that they wont messed up and end up with a light bulb as a head. Or headless afterward...

That thought alone kills me even before the blades touch my skin!

Yelp!

This is the common situation that i face:

sitting. hair dresser behind me. he tries to strike a conversation. manage one sentence answer. long silence prevails. Blades closing in. Body all tensed up. hand on my head. told to hang my head down. neck feels like concrete. managed that after few seconds. skin all tighten up. feels like screaming. one layer of hair gone. internal eternal scream. watch hair flutter down helplessly. gasp. stare up at the guy. try to fake a calm smile. repeat a few times.

feels the agony.
pay up.
walk away.
cursing.

well the last 4 parts rarely happens now.

so anyways I like my hair cut now. after 3 month not cutting my hair. xD
3 month of avoiding any barber.

but i still have that phobia.

--

i wan to learn this version of sea.
hmm..
someone tab it for me?
LOL

dewa dewa~
adieu~n

MiYAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE xD

2009-08-04T23:04:00.004+08:00

I know right.
I hardly post anything personal in my blog now. Hmm.. i should do that soon too. or not. xD

ya ya i know my blog suddenly becomes YUI's shrine. just what i want it to be.
lol

I am not in the mood of writing about myself ya know. Just those lil moment when i feel crappy and the idea of tearing my vocal cord (or others preferably) apart seems like the best thing to do.

And wallah i found this:

MIYAVI xD

he is the first jrock artist that i ever listen to. although sadly only one song and i never ever listen to jrock until YUI-sama appeared! But since to tear apart vocal cord with rock song is such a good idea hence i listen to him right now =D

who wouldnt if he is like this:

or this

or play like this:

i believe when the girls praised his skill he answered its all CG xD

anyways
this song is the first song i heard from him 4 years ago?

nice lyric.

Itoshii Hito.

Nice lyrics too. =D

YUI at ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 09

2009-07-31T21:42:00.007+08:00

The first thing i did when i reach home this evening was

THIS

ooh a sun burst strat i think xD

Today is the day YUI performed in "ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 09"!!! It's been such a long time since YUI made a public appearance since her long hiatus. Now the jpop OJOU-SAMA is back on stage armed with watergun to assassinate our heart!! Although i cant be there sadly but who wouldnt be happy to see YUI even in pictures? In ninja-like yukata? Its a die for! *dies*

I believe I kyaa-ed when i saw this pic

YUI's MARTIN!!

then suffered a temporary spazzing moment.

I really wish i was there! Her comeback is really out of the world. That is the cutest hair style ever. and the outfit? speechless! Its like the cutest yet most disarming ninja ever. seriously. I can imagine a crowd of YUI fanatic kyaa-ed when they saw her walked on the stage!

From the forum i read she performed 8 songs including a tribute song to kawamura kaori, ZOO who just died days ago.

cant wait for the videos. until then

*dies*

source:
http://yuistalker.wordpress.com/2009/07/31/yui-at-rock-in-japan-2009/
http://yui-lover.com

YUI x Kaiji

2009-07-23T12:29:00.003+08:00

YUI has been tapped to provide the theme song and an insert song for the manga-to-movie adaptation "Kaiji," which stars Tatsuya Fujiwara as a gambler trying to erase an enormous debt.

Initially, YUI was only asked to provide the theme, but director Toya Sato ended up using two of her tunes. "It's all too much" will serve as the theme song, while "Never say die" will be heard during the film.

"Kaiji" is set to open in theaters on October 10. YUI's two songs will apparently be released as a double A-side single sometime in the same month.
--tokyograph.com

Kaiji
Summary

Japan, 1995. After graduating from high school, Itō Kaiji moves to Tokyo to get a job, but he fails to find steady employment because the country is mired in its first recession since World War II. Depressed, he festers in his apartment, biding the time with cheap pranks, gambles, liquor and cigarettes. Kaiji is always thinking about money and his perpetual poverty frequently brings him to tears.

Kaiji's unrelenting misery continues for two years until he is paid an unexpected visit from a man named Endō, who wants to collect an outstanding debt owed to him in Kaiji's name. Endō gives Kaiji two options - either spend ten years to repay this outstanding debt, or board the gambling ship Espoir ("hope" in French) for one night to clear the debt. Using a con, Endō pressures Kaiji into accepting the deal, believing he will never come back from the voyage.
--Wikipedia

--

This is sooo cool a single in october? what can better?

of Beauty and Books

2009-07-23T00:27:00.002+08:00

short note: hmm should i register under nuffnang i wonder..

As the kids dance around the front yard under the night sky and the lights, i see something.
Lua and Marie are holding hands.
They look like they're so happy, just inside this moment, watching the kids and the lights on their old fibro house
Lua kisses her.
Just sodtly on the lips.
And she kisses back.
Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.

Part 3, chap. 6 a moment of beauty. i am the messenger

now why did i copy that down. I should have copy down an excerpt from Fool by Christopher Moore which is waaay better xDD

My recommended book of the month.

Fool by Christopher Moore
Blood Sucking Fiend By Christopher Moore
the Soloist by Steve Lopez
We'll Meet Again by Mary Higgins Clark. (lol i cant remember if the title is right but i love that book)

till then
adieu-nara xDDD

Traveler IQ

2009-07-16T00:08:00.006+08:00

short note: i still missed those days.. must get over it. phail.

This Traveler IQ challenge compares your geographical knowledge against the World's Original Travelogue's other 4,284,166 travelers who have taken this challenge as of Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 04:14PM GMT. (TravelPod is a TripAdvisor Media Network member)

THis is such a nice thing to play wif xDD
my traveler's IQ is 81.
whats yours??

Writing Dreams

2009-07-14T21:24:00.006+08:00

short note: i am not gonna repeat history and cut myself any deeper.

There was once a time when I had no dream at all (or can’t remember any) when I sleep. A time when I used to dream about plain blank ongoing horizon with a huge white fluffy bear smacked in the middle or just a white white world. Oh how I wished I had a dream back then. Although that cute white bear seems very relaxing (and huggable) now.

Aww shucks

Anyways,

Now, to be able to wake up in the morning (or in the middle of the night) and remember my dream in detail is not a good thing after all. Especially when it comes with painful after effects. But do I regret it? Definitely NOT.

Being able to remember what I dreamt about means to be able to write about it. I watched a documentary that said the best ideas came from dreams when there are no logic and rule. In this state we basically unleashed our full potential because when we are dreaming who cares about being caught by police for running with our pants down right (in the dream)? Not that I want to do that either.

i dont mind if she catch me tho xDDD

Lately I kept having weird lucid dreams. Sometimes I would dream reading a music sheet out of thin air or humming to a nice melody. Of course after I wake up I can’t remember anything because I suck at notes. But other times I would wake up 3 in the morning looking frantically for my phone and type down whatever I dreamt about moment ago (most of the time half awake).

I don’t know why I felt so inclined to write it down. It’s not like as if I want to craft it into a short story or novel (haha) anytime soon. Because let’s face it, the last time I ever finish a short story was when I sat for my SPM! But I have to admit what I dreamt sometimes was so interesting (or plain weird) that I can’t stop myself but to write it down. Call it the writer instinct in me (perasan) xD.

Now as I read through my phone drafts, I kept thinking it is such a waste to delete it all. They used to be so interesting in my dream. Although reading them now, I felt it had lost the luster it had before. For some reason I can’t capture what I saw and write it down perfectly and beautifully. I am losing my touch. I can’t even remember how to spell certain words now and I bet there are so much grammar mistakes here that you are cringing inside thinking how suck I am. But I can still remember the feeling I had when i saw all that. I can still feel the fear that ran through my spine when I was shot or the glee when someone was acting goofy when he saw YUI (its not me! I SWEAR!) haha. So I think I better write it down in full before I forget everything.

To do list:

Try to write at least one of the dreams.

I bet this will take forever..

Oh wait I can write it in one sentence.

I dreamt i was scolded by my mother-in-law-to-be because i can't use a chopstick properly. LOL what the hell?? I AM SINGLE I CANT DREAM ABOUT THESE THINGS!

I dreamt YUI was a villain that can use a Sharingan technique called ALTO EYES!

Alto clef xDD

NOOO YUI~ xDDDD

-result of listening to YUI songs, reading naruto and music theory xD-

2009-07-08T22:31:00.003+08:00

short note: All the more stupid.

I didnt know looking for a new guitar is so darn difficult. I've been researching and surveying for almost 2 months but i still cant find a satisfying one. Am I picky or have too high a taste? Most likely both. It would be freakish if that is applied to real life haha (not suggesting anything).

I've checked online for some choices for beginners such as Seagull S6, Washburn D10S which i havent seen yet and Yamaha F310 which in my opinion sound too bright for my taste and has big body (though i still very much considering it), Takamine G-240 and Fender DG7 (im not sure whether i've seen this one or not. but I saw a Fender Squire cost around 800-900 yesterday, didnt try it tho.)

I'll try to write sth about each of them when i feel like it. My mind is pretty much muddled right now. I feel awful.

Anyways,

check out this song.

pretty neat song. albeit leaning abit on the emo side.

so afterward. balance it out with this

boing boing bump bump

2009-07-03T00:11:00.003+08:00

short note: im so lazy to write now. need motivation. tomorrow. xD

I am out of my mind.
cant get over sth so stupid
letting my self drown in self pity
i need to stop this growing insanity!

ignore that haha.
anyways i cant get this song out of my brain.

i know its a girl song. but the beat is sick so to speak.

the chorus is freaking nice right?
i like the lyrics and melody but i dont think younha fully fits the song.
I'm imagining someone else sing a cover for it and blow it sky high.

YAMAHA F310

2009-06-16T21:49:00.004+08:00

short note: it used to be so easy but now its like moving mountain. Maybe i still can't accept it.

Dubbed as the beginner guitar, this guitar is surprisingly good and quite reasonably price for such a well-known brand. It has 20 frets and a narrow fingerboard (almost half the size of mine). Its quite difficult for me to play fingerstyle since im used to bigger fingerboard but I like the sound of it when strummed. Waaaaaaay better then mine. which sounds horrible with loud bass.

The specs The top is spruce, laminated, with natural finish. The sides and back are made of Meranti, fingerboard and bridge are made Rosewood, and the neck is of Nato. Its a dreadnoguht guitar/ semi-jumbo (dunno which). The body kinda a big for me but not as big as jumbo guitar. and it is surprisingly light!

Cost around RM420 now without bag. THIS FREAKING GUITAR's JUST JUMPED ITS PRICE FROM A FREAKING 360 LAST MONTH. ASSSSSSS.

for full guitar veteran review watch the vid below:

anyways. i think i will get one unless some one tell me there are nicer ones.
from the reviews i read around the net. none disagree with the prowess of this guitar. most of them said it is a very beginner friendly and super reliable guitar. and most importantly sounds brilliant for such a 'low' priced guitar.

Plus its easier for me to play barre chords on it haha. so more YUI songs for me afterward la. so you see where im going? YUI FTW BABEH! xD

ciao.

A Topic?

2009-06-10T07:39:00.002+08:00

short note:
never ever leave my phone behind again. Life is bleak without music

Every blog should have a common topic to rant about. Most people create blog to talk about their personal life, be it interesting or plainly narrative. Others as a hobby and some to talk about their interest. I guess that was why my blog always failed.
I never had a real clear topic of what to write about.

After long and hard pondering. I, ~~Ikki the Great~~ decides that i should write something other than my bleak life.
(except when it involves lame conversations) like before. Perhaps I should write about this

no not yui exactly. but guitars!
I've been thinking that i should really get a guitar of my own. purely for the satisfaction of buying something and naming it mine. instead of a secondhand.
its not that i have qualms with secondhands. Even Yui bought a secondhand 1977 Martin D-28 and shes loving it :)

Yui's Martin D-28 (i had to rip this from the original site. original picture here

So this site will be where i rant about what guitar should i get. plus lots of thing about jpop (yui specifically) and some boring life thrown in to spice things up a bit xD

till then~

btw yui new single out and she topped the Oricon Top 10 CD Single Daily Charts :)
THREE FREAKING HUGE CHEER FOR YUI!
waiting till her album out here..

Kar Wei's confession

2009-06-04T17:51:00.000+08:00

Lots of stupid conversations will arise when im talking with Kar Wei. Sometimes we would crap for hours about stupid topic by twisted logic and sheer lame jokes that when uttered in front of anyone else will appear either stupid or lame. such as this

Kw: what if the guy is a gay, can??
me: do i look like i know any gays? you dun count la
Kw: i love hugging guys wei. haha. OMG i just said that.
me: omg new post for blog! *saves conversation xD
Kw: haha. wait. add in girls too.that should balance it up.
me: too late xD

later we were talking about this

me: you're convicted as being a gay in the Court of Life.
Kw: what is the Court of Life?
me: Well there is the Court of Law using Law so Court of Life is using ethics and tradition.
Kw: really?
me: nah i just made that up xD

then

me: where is your lawyer?
Kw: do i need one?
me: duh.
Kw: then i call upon kim.
me: too late la shes prosecuting you.
Kw: no way i ask her to be my lawyer first.
me: really? but i already said shes prosecuting you so there you cant have her xD

afterward

me: so present your case.
Kw: I am not guilty of all charges.
me: where is your prove
Kw: do i need one?
me: *copy and paste the first conversation* there i therefore convict you guilty. you are sentence to perform a one night stand anytime you wish. smack smack
Kw: right then i just stand here till morning haha.

this conversation occurred at 1 in the morning xD

dum de dum

2009-06-03T22:55:00.000+08:00

its been awhile since i last blog.
anyways enjoy this song!

yeah~

2009-05-24T00:15:00.000+08:00

oh yeah
im a mess
i need to clean up pretty fast

and oh yeah i have nothing in mind to post
down right mess

Good Scare

2009-05-19T23:55:00.001+08:00

This is one good scare for me.

I just installed this game for my brother. Since my C drive is nearly full I smartly install it in my personal folder and again with the stroke of a genius did not put it in a specific folder. Which is really a disaster in the making.

The program turn out to be faulty which annoys me considering the long hour of waiting for it to finish downloading. Half annoyed half tired i click on the uninstall icon and seeming thought that i was just ridding the program. Another big mistake.

The unistaller starts working. File by file were deleted. And with horror i watched as all my precious files, my songs, my pictures, my programs, my games, my videos, my animes and my movies disappeared before my very eyes. You could imagine the horror stricken face etched on my face.

OMG all of it gone for good? What in the world will happen to me without my songs! NO!!!

Panic overwhelmed me. I nearly screamed out of frustration. Last i check there wasn't any free full file recovery program out there(similar problem happened with my other com =.=). Desperate for something to salvage out of the mess of my life i type away file recovery free and clicked search.

and this popped out http://www.officerecovery.com/freeundelete/

and my problem solved! luckily. what a blardy scare. now i will keep a backup.

.

how fast can this cycle go?
before i knew it i'm in another mess
right after another mess
pathetic. yet i cant do anything about it.
i need that drug.

Self Reflection

2009-05-13T23:17:00.000+08:00

this is a post after i read my old blog posts.

Thinking back I wasn't like this. I was queerer by all standard. In fact I was so queer I don't fit in in most places. I would hover around from one group to another collecting whats important to me as I went along. No regards for others. Only me and my business. Nothing else matters. That was who I was before.

Back then I don't have much care for companionship. I was a lone wolf. Me myself and my shadow was my motto. I was afraid to be close to anyone and shy away from any possible threat. I still remember why. I was so afraid of losing those who are dear to me that I don't want anyone to be one. But the truth is I crave them.

I need to talk to someone all the time. But none understand me. I was in a standard of my own when was growing up. I lack of all those things that boys used to play with. I have no PlayStation, Cable nor Computer Games which were and are the topics frequented in boy's conversation. I sucked in sports and aced my test all time. Which is not a healthy mix. So i grew up with friends enough to count with my 10 fingers. And I lost them one by one.

Maybe it was my fault somewhere but most of those who were close to me will move on after a year. I mean really move on to other places. And we always lost contact. By the end of of primary year I lost contact with everyone I was close to. I start to think that maybe i should not be close to anyone lest they move away from me. 'I am a curse.'

That was who I was. And now I think I ought to stay that way. Meeting you changed everything. Somehow you understand or pretend to. But I don't really care. I was comfortable with you, happy in fact. But my mouth run faster than my brain. I have no idea what should I do now. I have no idea how to mend it. I can't take back what i said.

Its been a year you know. I think things still stay the same huh? I still carry a curse.

The question now is should I revert back or stay the way I am?
I know the answer to that myself.

.
.
.

Being close to somebody is drug to me. I got attached to someone easily. And when I am close to the drug I am stupid. When I'm drugged I got stupider. When I'm trying to get rid of the drug I'm stupidest. When I run out of drug. I will be stupidier. After I'm clear of it I will have a hangover and I'll be stupider than the stupidest. bottomline that drug render me stupid. BUT THE PROBLEM IS I LOVE THAT DRUG! xD

Happy Mothers Day~

2009-05-12T08:55:00.000+08:00

After hard labour during labour day you are now a mother! So happy mothers day~ xD

i've been cracking lame jokes on daily basis now. should make a career out of it eh? lol so random

Happy mothers day mom!

i know this post is one day past it but in your dictionary, mothers day is everyday so today is mothers day, right? I don't know where i would be without you. We used to fight a lot i know. I was such a hot head back then (and still am apparently) but you were always so forgiving, so understanding.

I know what kind of insolence brat i was. I had no regards for discipline nor for rules (and still am). Its hard being the second and 20 months apart from my sister. I guess now that i am all grown up i realise what kind of attention seeker i was. If you could disown me you probably would. Why not? i ran away once. trashed people few times. yell like mad man countless of times. But you were still there for me. all those years.

I still remember what you said to me back then. and what kind of mark it made in my life. Now i see the world in my own perspective. a perspective differ from the world.

Mom,
You thought me so much. Yet i am unable to repay any of it. even if i carry you on my back to perform haj and carry you back it does not even amount to what you had given me. All i can do is thank you and love you.

You're more than a woman, mom. You're my mother.

Happy Mothers DAY!

DJ OZMA

2009-05-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

WARNING!

DO NOT IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PRESS THE PLAY BUTTON IN YOUR OFFICE OR AT SCHOOL

PROCEED WITH CARE xD

---------------------------------------------------------

most probably the most hilarious and eww-able PV i ever watched (or ever will)

note: i did not look for this stuff mind you. found it listed under the most viewed video in jpopasia.com for quite sometime xD

DJ OZMA 『DRINKIN' BOYS』

2009-05-02T22:57:00.001+08:00

sometimes they sound differently at the other end

p/s: i have no idea why i choose SBSP

Sky Chord by Shion Tsuji

2009-04-30T13:46:00.001+08:00

Rawr my download just failed again. that throttle tmnet put on download speed is really annoying. Compared to when there is none, my download speed is at tolerable speed (which is still not that good). I found a program called hotspot shield that will somewhat bypass the throttling but at a cost of ads invasion.

good or bad is up to you really. Plus using this you can actually use websites such as www.hulu.com as the program will assign international ip (mostly US) for you. Last time i got assigned to california. So for those video addicts you might want to try. MOre information here

So instead of YUI i got Shion Tsuji instead. Nice song for Bleach ED.

SKY CHORD - Shion Tsuji

O2 XDA Atom Exec

2009-04-30T13:21:00.000+08:00

Pretty sleek mobile PC i say. I had the chance to experience a one day date with the O2 XDA Atom Exec yesterday. She impressed me more and more each time. With WiFi and cool speakers, touch screen and infrared keyboard (or keypad) and several others cool gadgets. She is in a class of her own. Sadly way above mine. We broke up :(

You can check out the specs here (ripped from http://www.pdadb.net/index.php?m=specs&id=507)

Datasheet+Views: 18173 views since addition of datasheet (June 28, 2006)
Datasheet;State: Final specifications
Release-Date: August, 2006
Predecessor:Model: O2 XDA Atom
Dimensions: 58 x 102 x 18.5 millimetres
Mass: 140 grams (battery included)
Software;Environment
Operating+System: Microsoft Windows Mobile 5.0 for Pocket PC Phone Edition (Magneto) AKU 2.0
Microprocessor,_Chipset
CPU: 32bit Intel XScale PXA272
CPU;Clock: 520 MHz

Memory,_Storage+capacity

ROM-capacity: 192 MiB (accessible: 98.3 MiB)
RAM+capacity: 64 MiB (accessible: 50 MiB)
Display
Display+Type: color transmissive TFT , 262144 scales
Display-Diagonal: 2.7 "
Display:Resolution: 240 x 320

Sound

Microphone(s): mono
Loudspeaker(s): stereo
Audio+Output: 2.5mm
Cellular-Phone
Cellular_Networks: GSM900, GSM1800, GSM1900
Cellular-Data;Links: CSD, GPRS, EDGE
Call+Alert: 64 -chord melody
Vibrating:Alert: Supported
Speakerphone-: Supported
Control-Peripherals
Positioning;Device: Touchscreen
Primary:Keyboard: Not supported
Directional_Pad: 5 -way
Scroll:Wheel: Not supported
Interfaces
Expansion:Slots: miniSD, SDIO
USB: USB 1.1 client, 12Mbit/s
mini-USB
Bluetooth: Bluetooth 1.2
Wireless:LAN: 802.11b
Infrared:Gate: 115200bit/s (SIR/CIR)
Serial: RS-232

Multimedia+Telecommunication

Analog;Radio_Receiver: FM radio (87.5-108MHz)
Built-in_Digital_Camera
Main;Camera: No information
Optical_Zoom: 1 x
Built-in;Flash: mobile light (LED)

Additional;Details
Battery: removable
Battery-Capacity: 1530 mAh

Maybe if we were on a date 10 years from now i might consider but too bad. Its just sad that with me she cant unleash her full potential.. so oh well..

p/s: on the lighter note, yui's new PV out. wil post later

Mobile PC post

2009-04-29T15:35:00.001+08:00

Woot!!
Can't believe it. My dad just gimme use a mobile oc (xda) his friend gave him 'cause he dunno how to use. Or rather lazy to learn haha.
Its a o2 xda atom exec. Kinda old I think (2006) bt the price then was $1348. Crazy price I say! Wonder why he gave my dad.
So far typing annoys me. good thing there is this thing called the transcriber. Darn i guess my hand writing cant be read by this thing too! Ah.. So anyways that conclUde my first mobile pc post. Till then!

I heard that song before

2009-04-27T21:33:00.000+08:00

I heard that song before is a story of love, loyalty and deceit. The story revolves around Kay Lansing Carrington newly wed to a chronic sleepwalker Peter Carrington and her struggles to clear her husband name of a crime that he believes was committed during his sleep walking state.

Twenty-two years ago, Kay sneaked into the hidden chapel of the Carringtons' Mansion and overheard an argument between a man and a woman. That same evening, an eighteen years old Susan Althrop drove home with Carringtons' heir, Peter--- and disappear. Now 22 years later, that argument is a an important piece of puzzle to help clear the cloud of suspicion that hung around her husband since Susan's disappearance.

Mary Higgins Clark

With a page turner suspense plot that can rival that of the Queen of Crime, Agatha Christie, Mary Higgins Clark clearly lived up to her title as the Queen of Suspense giving the benefit of doubt to the reader. The book is a great bland of James Patterson subtlety with Christie's plot. It kind of remind me of Mary, Mary and The Unexpected Guest that somehow got a heap of love from both Kay and Peter.

I cannot say much of the author as I only read one of her book (shame on me) but so far I love this book lots and plan to read all 24 of her bestselling book. The fact that i don't even know that she exists until 2 days ago is eating me inside out.

---

Its kinda hard to plan for something. As the saying goes it is easy to plan but not to execute. A light year ago I was begging my father to let me go to Taylors College and spare me 4 month (and counting) torture and now he jovially joked (or so i hope) about Oxford University. Can you spare me of the pain?

There's always something of a give and take situation with me. I always get something but afterward I'll lose something of equal value. This is true as far back in my early years as i can remember. Until now I need to think twice to want something for fear that I lose another. Which is rationally stupid right? I got what I want for my SPM result but in return I got this also. Ah, what a wonderful life huh?

Honestly, sometimes I just can't stop thinking how suck my life is. But I cant stop thinking there will be others that feel just the same if not worse also. So in a way I am good. Kinda.

On the flip side, I'm waging war with my own habits!(which is good right?) Which include being too nice to others haha.

Till then!

In a brown study

2009-04-27T15:37:00.000+08:00

Coming up with a name is always a chore to me. Sometimes i would spend hours sorting through a bunch of ridiculous name for a later ridiculous purpose.I always resented the fact that good names are always taken especially for blogs which later left to rot in the net. Which is a total waste.

miss elephant say hi!

In a brown study literally means in a state of deep thought or in a daydream. I came across this term in a wonderful book by Mary Higgins Clark, I heard that song before. A novel about crimes during sleepwalking state. Apparently the term was very common during the 19th century but it is almost fall out of use today mostly because who want to say 'im in a brown study dear' rather than 'im thinking here woman!' anymore now?

So anyways, I've decided to restart my blog (again). Feel free to 'follow' me. I'll update from time to time.

Cheers!

p/s: someone name the elephant!

for once I will stop being nice
I'll be ignorance
I'll be selfish
I'll step on others
because sometimes
i don't fit in